Hope you’re comfy because we’re about to sip some accountabili-tea.
Venus, the planet of love, adornment, and relation is currently mid-retrograde in the sign of Capricorn, and boy is her foot on our necks.
Alongside drastic urges to shift our appearance and exes resurfacing // new lovers blooming, our sense of self-worth is getting magnified and we’re being called to review our former relationships, asking ourselves if we’ve truly evolved and learned from them.
Whether platonic, professional, familial, or romantic, this transit is an opportunity to redefine who you are in partnership and what you choose to demand from and value in your partners. If you find yourself longing for a former love, it’s an invitation to ask yourself if it’s the person you desire or what they represented // the emotion they evoked within you instead.
But what’s most important to note is that the cycles and dynamics we find ourselves repeating when it comes to our relationships are becoming louder than ever, and if Saturn-ruled Capricorn demands anything of us, it’s accountability.
Sometimes you don’t realize the barriers you’ve built around your heart until you find yourself exhausted from having to peek over them to watch everyone else have all of the things you want.
Are you comfortable enough to admit when you are the problem? And in that same breath, are you brave enough to finally be the solution?
Healing is easy when there’s blame and guilt to project. But what happens when we invite ourselves inward and find that the common denominator between all of our misaligned relational dynamics and outdated cycles is us? All of our shit— our limiting beliefs, our wounds, our traumas. That’s what shows up every time.
We sit with the full and new moons and pour our hearts out to our sister circles, yelling out to the universe what we desire and the color bow we want it wrapped in. But if you’re asking the Divine for the committed relationship of your dreams, do you think you’ll be gifted a handsome, shiny new lover or a situational opportunity that mirrors back to you your fears surrounding intimacy?
The flowers of life that you desire cannot bloom in a garden that isn’t fertile with healthy habits, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and a rich sense of self-worth.
The opportunities to expand and honor our value will return time and time again disguised in shiny lip gloss and a different cloak, but what determines the outcome is who we decide to be this time around.
Will we stay limited, comfortable, scared to break our old habits because of the safety we’ve found in victimhood? Will we reject ourselves before we can be rejected? Will we affirm that we’re not enough, capable, or deserving? Will we appear elusive and unamused so that our vulnerability doesn’t compromise our safety? Will we continue to maintain friendships that don’t actually nourish us because of conditioned obligation? Will we forfeit our desires and dishonor our boundaries to maintain everyone else’s status quo?
Or will we be bold enough to clear our throats and say “Hey, this isn’t working for me? This would actually be better. Can you give me what I deserve or should I see myself out?”
With Venus conjunct Pluto, it’s important to explore the subconscious roots that feed life to our limiting beliefs surrounding our self-worth. We can’t make sustainable change without acknowledging where we lost our sense of deservingness in the first place.
Can you look back on the parental modeling, the societal conditioning, the rejection, shame, or heartbreak, the experience that taught you to love wasn’t safe and you weren’t innately valuable? Can you extract the lesson, hug the old you, and no longer let the pain define you?
An entire industry has been built on manipulating being wounded, and we can easily find ourselves wearing our traumas so comfortably that the scariest part would be longer having them to hide beneath. To actually exhale and say “I’ve done enough journaling, processing, healing. I can take this version of me into the world now.”
We’ve all trauma bonded over our daddy issues, our body image discrepancies, the ways in which society has shrunken us. But can you finally let that part be over? Can you finally say, that’s what happened and this is the narrative I’m choosing now?
Tell your mom you’ll no longer filter your life’s decisions through the lens of her approval or validation. Tell your lover that being in a situation no longer aligns with the plans you have for yourself. Tell your boss your energetic bandwidth, professional demands, and financial compensation aren’t adding up. Tell your friend who calls every two days with their dialogue of insecurities that you no longer have enough room to hold the both of you. Tell the younger you that getting rejected had nothing to do with your lovability.
And most of all, feel complete enough to know that their response will not affect your measurement of self-worth. Whether the relationship becomes strained or broken isn’t what matters here: the real nectar is knowing you’ve done enough reflection to stand in the embodiment of your truth and growth to unshakably speak upon it.