I’ve been single for the past few years with sprinklings of dates here and there, but nothing substantial. I met people that I thought were “the one” to only have the relationships fizzle out after a few months. My last serious relationship was damaging and caused a lot of internal struggles. I battled insecurities, sadness, and the thought that I could possibly end up alone. I began to experience depression, although I labeled it as sadness. The sadness caused moodiness and lack of motivation; I stopped working out and put on weight. I sought the help of my therapist and began to adopt healthier habits by establishing a routine that required putting my physical and mental well-being first. I started working out again and making time for the things that I wanted to do. With the help of friends and therapy, I was able to overcome the negative feelings and build back my self-esteem. I worked through unresolved trauma that helped me understand why I stayed in unhealthy relationships.
As I came out of the depression and sadness and emerged as a better version of myself, I wanted to shift my focus from working on myself to finding and manifesting the right partner. I was in a better place and felt like this was the natural next step, to find love. The universe, however, had other plans.
I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started manifesting “my partner”, but it became a ritual every time there was a new moon. I wanted a man!! LOL. I actually found a manifestation list from a few years back and some of the traits that I listed for my future partner were: funny, kind, smart, loyal, makes me a priority, and someone I can be completely myself with. As I reread that list, I can think of so many newer friendships that check all of those boxes. Last year, I spent a month in Mexico with a friend (funny, smart, someone I can be completely myself with) and was visited by several other friends on our stay that checked off the remaining traits on my list (kind, loyal and makes me a priority). That trip is something I would have envisioned doing with “my partner” but I ended up experiencing it with a group of friends and creating memories that will last a lifetime. In the time I’ve spent being single, I’ve been able to cultivate and develop friendships beyond the casual happy hour or party, to traveling together, meeting families, and spending holidays with one another.
As time went on and my manifestations didn’t seem to come to fruition, I started realizing that I was building stronger bonds with the people around me. I was trying to be the best version of myself for my future partner and that meant being the best version of myself for the people closest to me. The first thing I noticed was that my communication skills had gotten so much better. I could articulate my feelings without letting my emotions lead. I am ruled by my emotions, and I know that when they get too heightened, I can’t express myself in a productive way.
What has ended up happening in my quest to manifest the perfect partner has turned out better than I anticipated. I still want a partner and when the time is right, it will happen! However, the growth I have experienced in my relationships with my family, friends, and personally is priceless.
