I’m a creature of habit. And like I suspect many of us right now, I miss all the things that I admittedly took for granted that were just a few weeks ago a daily part of my existence.
I miss my morning workout (at SoulCycle for me, but insert whatever daily habit that you currently pine for). Specifically, I miss listening to music really loud while sweating, scream-singing, and laughing with my friends while we sweat in the dark, followed by a much-too-long coffee break, recap of the latest pop culture gossip, and an implicit promise sealed with hugs to do it all over again the next day. I miss my people. UGH.
But rather than complain endlessly on a series of Instagram posts (not that I didn’t do that, too), I tried something different today.
First, there was the matter of acceptance. I actually said out loud, while having my morning coffee and talk with my crystals (today’s guests were clear quartz and red jasper): you do not get to hug your friends right now. This made me angry and upset, but there was something about the bluntness of it that made me snap out of my funk. Made me want to come up with a plan rather than crawl back into bed. To be honest, it might have been the red jasper talking — it’s a very bossy crystal.
Second, I wrote down what it was that I missed. The specific memory of a friend’s recent dinner party, of being in Mexico in February and singing for hours at a bar, of being by a pool dancing last summer. It felt good to see all those memories written on a page. But I needed more. So…
Third, I brought out my citrine (literal crystal sunshine) and made a playlist. Because while I don’t get the friends or dancing with them at a party right now, I DO have the music that helped make those experiences so special. I scrolled through my phone and one by one, pulled together the songs that help me hold on tightly to all those people and times my heart aches for right now. It wasn’t so much as a playlist as it was a chain of musical notes held together by all the beautiful laughs and hugs and tears I’ve shared with my friends and family over the last chunk of years.
Fourth, I did what I always seem to do when I want to make my heart happy. I danced and sang and remembered everything. I could see the faces, smell the smells, taste all the tastes, and hear all those special conversations, gestures, and giggles that make life worth living. And I felt healed.
If you are feeling down about who you don’t get to embrace today, try this ritual and see if it helps. For the non-believers out there, even science backs me up.
Let’s keep dancing.
PS: If you’re looking for a little musical pick-me-up, Luigi (the other half of Smudge) also moonlights as a SoulCycle Instructor, and has curated some amazing playlists on Spotify. I’m especially partial to the one called “LIGHT. HAPPY. UPLIFTING. GAY.” Warning: it does get emotional towards the end. I learned that the hard way.